How to Spot a Hang Up

You really need to be honest.  You have to take a look at her and at your relationship.  You need to really look at the signs that she is sending you.  You have to be honest with yourself about what you see.

No matter how much she likes you, if she is not over her ex then there is no future for your relationship.  If you are even questioning whether or not she is over her ex then chances are that something really is up.

Five Signs to Look For

Sign #1: She still harbors a lot of anger towards him and that relationship.

If she is always talking about him and putting him down then she is bitter.  If she is constantly trash talking then it means she is still emotional hung up on him.  If he really didn’t mean anything to her then she would let it go and be happy moving on with you.

Sign #2: They are good friends.

Sometimes relationships do end up as just a friendship, but when they are close friends it means they have not let go.  It doesn’t matter why the relationship ended.  People rarely stay friends when they are over it.

Sign #3: She’s indifferent about her ex.

Sometimes signs are not so clear.  If she doesn’t ever want to talk about him or the relationship this very well could signal something is up.  Females like to talk and when they clam up about something it is cause for concern.  Chances are she doesn’t want to talk about him because she still has feelings for him and talking about him brings those up.  She may feel guilty about having those feelings, so she avoids talking about him.

Sign #4: She seems to know too much about him.

If your girl seems to be up to date about her ex and what is happening in his life then she still has feelings.  If she wanted him gone then she would not be trying to stay in loop about what he is doing.

Sign #5: She gets flustered when she sees him.

If you have the opportunity to see them interact then you have the chance to see first hand how she feels.  If she is over him then she will treat him like anyone else.  However, if she is not over him then she will get flustered and act nervous around him.

Watching your girlfriend and being aware of her actions will really help you to figure out how she feels about her ex.  It is better to figure it out sooner rather than later.

There is a way to break up with her without creating a mess.  You just need to know what to do and what not to do.

What To Do

Be open about how you feel.  Avoid using stereotypical phrases.  Make sure that you just say what you feel.  Tell her why you want to break up by being straight and honest about it.

Do it in private.  Don’t make a break up public.  You should be alone, just the two of you.  Make sure that you are sensitive to her feelings.  You don’t want other people around.  They may try to get involved and that will just make things more difficult.

What Not To Do

Do not put it off.  Like I said before, that is so tempting.  Just do it.  If you are not feeling the relationship then just break it off.  It will save you both a lot of hurt in the long run if you just get it over with.

Do not start a new relationship until the old one is over.  This means even flirting with other girls.  This sends the wrong message.  End this relationship before you get into another.

Do not make it a fight. Do not place blame.  Do not be negative.  Try to be as nice as possible.  Don’t start an argument.  The nicer you are about breaking it off, the better chance you have of walking away with your sanity intact.

These are five things that you should do if you are really serious about getting your ex back.  These things cover some basics that you probably know already.  However, unless you actually listen to this advice then you are not going to do yourself any good.

Use Subtle Contact Methods

You do not want to cut off all contact with her.  At the same time don’t be a stalker.  Please, don’t be a stalker.  Stalkers are scary and not someone anyone wants to have a relationship with.  You start being all obsessive and get that stalker label, you will forever be known as “that stalker guy”.  Just be subtle and restrain yourself.

Stay Away from Other Girls

Trying to get over your ex by using other girls will get you nowhere.  Your ex will see you as a player and that is a huge turnoff.  Better to stick to your buddies and let them help you through this break up.

Keep the Tears to Yourself

Women say they like a man that is willing to cry, but we don’t mean one that is a cry baby.  There is a time and place for tears and at her front door on your knees after a break up is not one of them.  If you must cry then do it alone.

Don’t Bad Talk Her

It may be very tempting to start running your mouth about how awful your ex is and how your break up was all her fault.  However, think about how she will feel when she hears what you have said.  Don’t fool yourself either.  She will hear what you have said and she will be livid about it.  Making her mad is no way to get her back.

Skip the Pressure

You cannot pressure your ex to get back with you. Don’t think intimidating her or making her feel sorry for you will get her back.

The bottom line is that you cannot make her want you back, but you can keep her from considering it.  Do yourself a favor and let time heal things.  Maybe then she will be ready to give it another try.