Recognize what went wrong.

The first step is to figure out what went wrong.  Way was the date so bad?  Was it a wrong restaurant choice?  Did something awkward happen?  Learn from your mistakes.  Make sure that you figure out why the date was bad because this will lead you to the next step in the process of getting that second date.

Talk to her.

You will never get that second date if you don’t reach out to her.  You need to see if she can get past the disaster.  Talk to her about what happened and explain how you can be sure to avoid it again.  If you were at fault then accept the blame and explain why you acted the way you did.  Ask her to forgive you.  If she was the problem, then don’t blame her.  Simply find out if she is interested in any further with you.

Ask her out.

If she is still interested then ask her out.  All she can is yes or no.  If you have done a good job off laughing off the first date disaster then you should have no trouble getting her to say yes.

Plan an amazing date.

You are getting a second chance so don’t blow it.  Make sure the second date is fool proof.  Choose what you do carefully.  Make sure that you are prepared for the date and that you are ready for this date.  Plan something simple, though.  Do not get too crazy.  Simple is best in order to minimize the chance of something bad happening again.  Try to do something that will put her at ease and that will allow you to really focus on each other so you can get to know her and move past that bad first date.

A Few Tips:

• Realize that nobody is perfect.  If you were to blame for the bad date then accept that and move on.  Everyone makes mistakes and has stupid moments.  It does not have to define who you are.  First dates are stressful and awkward, most are not perfect.  Don’t let this get you down.

• Be confident.  When you talk to her again be confident.  Let her know that date was not something that happens often.  Let her know you are interested in her and that you would love the opportunity to show hr what a great date really is.

• If she doesn’t agree to a second date then let it go.  Don’t beat yourself up about it.  Simply say okay and move on.  Take the lesson you learned from this bad date and be sure to never repeat the mistakes you made.  At least you will walk away having learned something.

So, here it is.  The following list tells you all about the mistakes you have been making.  These mistakes are probably the reason you are reading this right now and not having lunch with a beautiful lady.  Trust me, though, once you get through reading this, you will be grateful that you did.

Stop making these mistakes:

• Don’t be all about me,me,me.  When you ramble on and on about yourself you will turn her off.  Seriously, being too into yourself is a big turn off for a woman.  She wants to know that there is room in your life for more than just you.  It is cool to love yourself, but she needs to know that you are capable of loving someone else, too.

• Don’t be a know it all.  Another turn off is a guy who thinks he knows everything.  Nobody knows everything.  I don’t care how well educated you are or how well traveled.  You do not know everything, so stop acting like you do.  She will find you arrogant and just plain annoying.

• Don’t act like you are a relationship expert.  Telling her you know what she is thinking or acting like you know everything there is to know about relationships will make her run.  You are not a relationship expert.  You do not know what she is thinking.  Just stop acting like you do.

• Keep your hands to yourself.  I know it can be difficult, after a few drinks, to keep your hands to yourself when you are really attracted to a woman.  You need to realize that she may not be as into you or as drunk.  Don’t start invading her personal space until she welcomes you into it.

• Don’t be rude.  Burping, being loud and showing off may work with your friends, but it won’t impress a woman.  You need to keep your manners in check.  Be a nice guy.  Women love nice guys.

There are plenty more things I could add to this list, but I think this covers the main things.  Sometimes guys try too hard and it ends up hurting you.  Just be yourself.  Relax and make her feel comfortable with you.  Follow her cues.  Take it slow and don’t do any of the above things.  Stop being that guy every girl avoids and start being the guy every girl wants to know.

Sign #1 - Watch her body angle.  When someone likes someone else they will normally angle their body towards the person.  If she is turning away then she may not be having that much fun.

Sign #2 - Mirroring.  People who are in a relationship or on a date that is going well tend to mirror each others actions.  Watch what she does.  When you drink, does she drink?  When you move something on the table, does she?

Sign #3 - The eyes never lie.  You need to watch her eyes because they will always tell how she really feels.  If she is not having problems keeping eye contact that is a good sign.  If her eyes smile along with her mouth that is another good sign.

Sign #4 - Is she showing grooming behavior?  When a woman starts to preen and groom herself, such as smoothing her hair, crossing her legs and uncrossing them, this is typical behavior that shows she is interested.

Sign #5 – Are you feeling a good vibe from her?  If you are getting the feelings that she is into you and that things are going good then you are probably right.  Your gut instinct can be a great indicator of what is really going on.

Figuring out if a first date is going good can really be easy when you know the above signs to watch for.  Just keep alert and watch out for what she is telling you with her body and what you are feeling in your gut.

Should The Guy Be Expected To Pay On The First Date?

Although this is a much debated question, I don’t believe there is a general answer. After all, you are about to date just one woman, not the whole world. And the only opinion that matters is hers and yours. If you have issue with being expected to pay on the first date, frankly get over it. I mean there is no need to make an issue of it and doing so will only put you in a state were you spoil most of your dates.

Why don’t you want to pay? Is that because you feel you are being taken advantage off? Let’s get real; nobody can make you go to a place you cannot afford and you definitely don’t have to go to the most expensive place you know for your first date. After all, you are not even sure you’ll want to see her again. Also, suggesting your date pay her share can be viewed as Cheap.

To pay or Not To Pay?

So what am I saying? I am saying be prepared to pay, and if she offers to pay her half or take care of the whole bill, only accept if you don’t plan on seeing her again. Be aware though that a woman who insist on paying probably intends not to see you again.

On the other hand, your devotion to take care of her is a great sign that you are dating potential. By refusing to pay for the first date you might very well be killing all your chances for a second date, where she would have been happy to foot the bill.

Sure it’s your money and you are entitled to it, but it is well known that one of the fastest way to win someone over is to offer them a gift.  I suggest you consider your first date as a disinterested gift and you might just hit the jackpot every single time.