Breaking It Down

Sometimes if you take a moment to actually think about the words he has just said it can help.  Taking things slow or giving him space simply means he is feeling too crowded by you.  He wants some time away.  Literally, he wants some space between you and him.  He wants to not be so close to you and to slow things down because they are progressing towards something that he is not comfortable with.

Behind the Words

Now that you have gotten to the heart of what the words mean, let’s look at the emotion behind them.  When he is telling you he wants time away from you or that he does not want to keep progressing in your relationship then you have to recognize what is happening.  He is not happy.  He is looking for a way out.

When a man says he wants to take things slow, he more likely thinking that he wants things to end.  Be real about it.  If he is really happy with you and he is enjoying the relationship, why would he want to slow things down?

Beyond the Emotions

Of course, not every person is the same and not every situation is the same.  You also need to look beyond just this one conversation.  Look for other signs as to what he means.  Consider what is going on in his life.  If a man who has a lot of stress at work or who is going through family issues says he wants to take things slow, he may not mean that he wants to let you go.  He may simply need some time to himself since he is dealing with other things in his life and simply does not have the energy to focus on you and your relationship right now.

Look at the Big Picture

You really do need to look at the whole picture.  There are many things going on when a man says this.  However, you cannot simply just decode things for yourself and assume you are right.  The best way to figure out what he means when he says he wants to take things slow is to just ask him.

It may seem obvious, but this is what you have to do.  Only he knows for sure what he means.  If he is confusing, you then simply tell him.  Tell him you want to know what is really going on and that you need some clarity.  He should be able to tell you what he is feeling so you know for sure what he means and what this means for your relationship.

Slow down, honey.  You need to look at this phrase first and see what it really means before you go freaking out.

What He Says Verses What He Means

Guys do not always say what they mean or mean what they say.  When he says “I want space” you need to consider that.  After all, that phrase could mean many things.  However, he did say it for a reason, so you need to figure out what that is.

Vague and Useless

This phrase is rather vague and useless.  Men tend to use these typical phrases instead of actually talking about how they feel simply because they don’t actually want to talk about how they feel.

When a guy says he wants space he basically is saying he needs to get away from you.  It may seem harsh, but something happened to provoke this and you better figure out what it is.

Look at Things

You need to look at your relationship.  Were you working towards a major commitment?  Did something change between you recently?  Did something happen in his life?  Guys do not deal well with multiple problems.  He could need space because he is afraid of getting too serious. He could need space because he feels overwhelmed with things in his life.

What To Do

The first thing you have to do is give him space.  If he truly cares about you then he will come around and tell you what is happening and why he needs space.  If he really does want to end things then you have to accept that.  When he says he needs space some times he really means it.

“I have feelings for you, but I am just not ready for a commitment.”

“You are too good for me. You deserve better.”

“I will call you.”

You have probably heard at least one of these and you know that behind the words hides the real meaning. You know that what he says is not always what he means.

Saying What They Don’t Mean

Since men have a habitual habit of not saying what they mean, you have to find a way to figure it out without going crazy. You can do this by learning more about male communication style and learning how to read body language.

One of the top things to learn about men is that actions do speak louder than words. Men will often say one thing and do another. Pay attention to what he does as this will show you his true feelings.

You likely put more stake in words because that is how women communicate. We usually say what we mean and our actions act as the cover up. You just need to understand that men are the exact opposite. Their words are the cover and their actions are the real deal.

What’s Up With the Commitment Fear

One of the biggest communication misunderstandings comes when their is talk of a commitment. It is just plain wrong to believe that all men are afraid of commitment. There are plenty of men in committed relationships. Get this out of your head right now because it is only hurting you.

When your man tells you that he is not ready for a commitment then he really means something else. Maybe he feels like being with you is too much work. Most guys want to be in a relationship that doesn’t require constant work to keep things together.

He really wants just what you do. He wants security, emotional attachment, attraction and stability. If he is not getting these things then he may back away. Men just are not as attached to the idea of being in a relationship as women, so they find it easier to say they want out and when he says he is not ready for a commitment, he likely means that he wants out.

The Fatal Mistake

The one mistake you can make that will just ruin all communication with your man is thinking that the way he thinks is just like you. Nothing will burn up your relationship faster than assuming you know what he feels.

Men and women are different and this is something you must accept. You need to figure out what he means when he says something. If you don’t know how he feels then ask him. Never assume something if you have no real proof that this is what he really means.

Final Words

When you start to look at the way a man communicates as completely separate from how you communicate then you will find things are much better in your relationships. You have to look beyond the words. If you simply cannot figure it out then ask him. Don’t assume anything.

Watch what he does and see if it follows with what he says. If not, then tell him he is confusing you and you just want to get to the real meaning of what he is saying. Keep communication open and your relationship will be much better for it.

I Will Call You As In Goodbye

So why do men say it? Well, like I just said, in many cases it has simply just become something they say.  They say it so much that they begin using it instead of goodbye.  Usually you can spot when this applies because the guy just causally throws it out and if you were not listening, you could have easily mistaken it for a goodbye.

For some people it is just something they say to keep awkwardness at bay.  Maybe they do not know if they will call, but they feel like they have to say it or else you may freak out or something just as scary.  They use it like a defense mechanism.  When a guy says he will call you with halfhearted effort or as a way to end the conversation then this is probably why he is doing it.

He Will Call If He Says When

Lastly, some men really do mean they will call you.  However, a guy saying it in this way will usually make some effort to expand upon it.  Like he will say that he will call you in a couple days or he will give you a call on your lunch break on Monday.  When he gives details it is a good sign that he might actually pick up the phone and dial your digits.

Most of the time you have to realize that hearing a guy say he will call you is not an actual commitment that he is going to call.  Take it as it is.  It is just something guys say.  Don’t get your hopes up and don’t sit by the phone vigilantly.  Honestly, if he calls you will either answer it or get a message and then you can call him back.  If he doesn’t call then you just know that is a guy that wasn’t worth your time anyway.