Figure out what you want beforehand.

Before you ever talk to him make sure that you know what you are thinking and feeling.  You really need to pull yourself together and be prepared when you talk to him.  If you are rambling and begging then you will never get him to actually listen to you.  The whole goal is to have a real conversation, so be ready to do just that without the tears and without the begging.

Address the issues.

If you know why the marriage broke up, address those issues.  If you are completely unsure then talk to him about it.  Set things out there and get to the heart of the issues.  Make sure that you own up to anything you did that affected the marriage.  You need to be sure that you are honest about everything even if you hate admitting that you were wrong.

Find solutions.

Once the issues are out there, you can begin to address them and see if you can work through them.  Some things may be easy, but most will probably be difficult.  It will take a lot of work.  You both have to put in the effort and it has to be something you do together.  You both have to be willing to work at the marriage in order to save it.

Accept the reality.

The reality is that you are in a divorce.  Things got so bad that all you could think was to end the marriage completely.  It is important that you realize he may not want to reconcile.  You need to go into this conversation knowing that you may still lose him at the end.

Tips:

• When you talk to your husband, it needs to be a very neutral thing.  You have to meet somewhere that is not intimidating to either of you.  Keep things pressure free.

• Don’t play the blame game.  Keep yourself in check and make sure that you do not start to point fingers and place blame on him.  This will make him unlikely to want to talk to you about anything.

• Watch out for legal issues.  Since divorce is a legal battle, you always have to be careful.  You do not want to do anything that could hurt you in the end.  You may not be able to save your marriage, so you need to be aware of how this talk will affect your future legal battle.

Expand Your Social Circle

To help you meet men you have to get out there.  That means going beyond the people you already know.  Try to meet new people by going to new places.  Make new friends, too, since a lot of people meet dates through friends.

Try Different Places

Don’t think you are stuck to bars or clubs to meet men.  Try different places where the social pressure isn’t there.  Try places like the park, sports events or the gym.

Tell People You Are Dating Again

Let everyone know you are back on the market.  As I mentioned, a lot of people date people they meet through friends.  Spread the word and you may start getting some good offers.

Don’t Be Too Serious Too Soon

One word of caution, don’t be too serious right away.  You should have fun dating again.  Do not rush into something just because you are afraid to be alone.  Take all relationships slow and really get to know the guys.  You don’t want a repeat of the last relationship, do you?

Don’t Be Afraid

Get out there and don’t be afraid.  Everyone is a bit intimidated about dating, even people who haven’t gotten divorced.  Give online dating a try or let friends set you up on dates.  Whatever you do, just do it.  Once you get started you will feel so good that you got back out there and started dating again.

Tip #1: Take Some Time

Before you start getting hard core back into dating, take some time to heal.  A divorce is always painful.  Get over unresolved issues and find peace with your situation.  Let go of hate and let go of all those left over feelings from the divorce.  You need a clean slate in order to really make dating successful.

Tip #2: Tell your Friends

Talk to your friends and tell them you are ready to date again.  Get the word out and let people know you are officially on the market.  Your friends may even have some guys in mind for you to jump start your reentry onto the dating scene.

Tip #3: Keep Positive

One of the most important things about dating again is to be positive.  If you need to do anything from losing weight to getting your hair done, then do it.  Boost your confidence and get yourself into a positive position.  Negative Nancy’s are not attractive and if you attract any kind of man it will be the wrong kind.

Tip #4: Know What you Want

This is not your first time at the ball park, so come into this prepared.  Know what you want and what you don’t want.  Make a list if you need to.  Just be serious about only dating guys that have the qualities you want and skip those dudes who don’t.

Tip #5: Don’t Fall Too Fast

It is so easy for us to fall too fast.  We were so used to being in a committed and secure relationship that falling right back into something like that is just natural.  Don’t be too clingy and don’t be afraid to take it slow.