Who Is Mr. Perfect

Wen all have these better notions of ourselves, I guess the person we think we would want to be. We live in some kind of lies almost all our lives, wanting to believe so hard that we are what we really aren’t. Just ask our friends. And sadly, and very unfortunately, we create someone for this ideal version of ourselves, someone who fits just perfectly with the picture, Mr. Perfect.

The only problem with that is that Mr. Perfect might be well, perfect, it’s usually not for the real us. He is the ideal mate for this fictional being we have created in our mind and whom we imagine is us, despite how many times our friends tells we are so not what we think we are. But well, what can a girl do? After all, she needs a decent dream, one she can be proud of.

Signs You Are Dating Mr. Perfect

Suddenly you find yourself trying a little harder, keeping those little habits that make you who you are in check when he’s around and telling your friends that he actually make you a better person. You are obsessed with what he thinks of you and you have never invited him to your place, even though you have been dating for five months.

You start second guessing yourself, the little pranks you and your friends used to pull and laugh so hard at now embarrasses you. You never invite him when you go out with your pals; God forbid they should do something that would shame you in his eyes. You are constantly worried that you will mess things up, and you certainly can’t afford that; why, he is so perfect.

Mr. Perfect Doesn’t Equate To Mr. Right

Some of use never wake up on hour own, usually Mr. Perfect, who has known all along that you were no Mrs. Right, tires of you, or meet Mrs. Right, or get attracted by the next shining thing. The result is the same; you are left hanging, wondering what went wrong. You had been so caught up building your dream life you missed the fact that your foundation was made of sand.

Mr. Right may not have the perfect hair cut, nor look like a god in jean, nor have a smile that makes you forget your name, nor drive your favourite sports car, nor have that apartment with the million dollar view. No Mr. Right may have none of those things that make Mr. Perfect perfect, but he has one thing that no one else has; with him you are simply who you are and happy. And if you would just gather the courage to introduce him to your friends, you will see just how perfectly he fits.

How do you keep your relationship growing and alive?  How do you keep a houseplant alive?  These may seem like two completely different topics, but they actually are quite similar.

You can learn a lot about relationships from gardening.  With a houseplant you must feed it, water it, nurture it or it will die.  The same things are needed to keep a relationship alive and growing.

It may be a crazy analogy, but it is true.  Your relationship requires you to do some much needed nurturing to ensure that it lasts.  Here are three things you must do if you want this man to stick around and this budding romance to turn into a blooming relationship.

Learn Acceptance

You know how he has those little habits that seem to annoy other people, but you think they are cute?  Give it time and they will annoy you, too.  Nobody is perfect and once you get through the initial phase of your relationship, all those cute little quirks will become annoying unless you learn to accept them.

Most of the little things are things we can accept, but we have to stop pushing them aside and laughing them off.  It is far better to just say they are annoying.  Then you can accept them and move on.

Being in a relationship is about realizing that your man is not perfect, but that you are fine with him just the way he is.  If you cannot completely accept him then there is not much of a future for this relationship.

Get Fighting Right

Every relationship, no matter how perfect it may seem, has its problems.  People do not always agree.  We bicker.  We fight.  It happens in every relationship and is not something you can avoid forever.

In good relationships, fighting is done in a constructive way.  Knowing the right way to fight will help your relationship grow.  When you don’t know how to fight, you only start to pick apart the relationship and send it on the path to splitsville.

Good fighting resolves issues without getting too heated.  When you fight constructively you are not throwing accusations or saying things you don’t mean.  You are focused on the facts.  You set emotions aside and you work on the problem at hand, together.

Knowing how to fight right is essential to your relationship.  Do it wrong and this won’t last long.

Never Forget the Attraction

In the beginning you are all about each other.  You find new things to love everyday, but this phase, referred to as the honeymoon phase, won’t last.  After some time you may begin to take each other for granted.  You may begin to forget that initial attraction.

That is why it is important to keep the attraction alive.  Keep reminding yourself why you are with him and remind him why he is with you.  Do things to keep the spark in the relationship.

With these three things you should be able to nurture and grow your relationship.  Too often people lose sight of these important parts of a relationship and that is why relationships don’t last.  People forget that a relationship is like a plant and it needs tending so it doesn’t die.

Why?  He has a good reason.  He is sending you a message, but most of us don’t ever pick it up.  Instead we obsess over it and we worry.  We may even start calling him.

Don’t get caught up in the “I will call you” game.  Stop the insanity now and learn the real reason he isn’t calling you.

What Have I Done Wrong?

The first instinct most women have when the guy doesn’t call is that they did something wrong.  You may spend hours pouring over every detail of your last encounter trying to figure out why he hasn’t picked up that phone.

This is where women go wrong.  We try to take on blame.  Instead of trying to figure out why he hasn’t called you are trying to read the situation.  You never know.  Maybe he didn’t call because he simply hasn’t had time.

Take a step back from the situation.  Calm down and then you can proceed to getting to the real reason why he hasn’t called.

Honestly Look at the Situation

The first thing that you need to do is look at the situation.  How long have you been dating?  Are you even really dating?  Is he a busy person? Are you seeing him still?  Has he ever called you for no reason?  The answers to these questions are important.

You need to figure out if not calling is just a matter of him not having time or even just not liking to talk on the phone.  Maybe he doesn’t see a need to call since he knows he will see you this weekend.

You have to remember that men are not quite as friendly with the phone as women.  Men do not often just call someone to chat.  They usually make phone calls with a purpose.

High Expectations

Women tend to put too high expectations on men and relationships.  We expect a man to act just like us in a relationship.  That is wrong.  Men are nothing like us and, honestly, isn’t that why we love them?

You need to be real about your relationship.  Maybe you would call him, but maybe that just isn’t him.  You cannot make him suddenly change who he is.  If he says he will call, sometimes it is empty words he uses to make you leave him alone.

Are you constantly bugging him about talking more or about calling you?  He wants you to shut up, so he says he will call.  He doesn’t put any meaning into the words.  They are for your benefit and he knows they will work for a little while at least.

Don’t try to make things a bigger deal than they are.  If he really wants to call you then he will.  Let him decide.

Sometimes It Is What You Think

In some cases, a man doesn’t call because he really doesn’t want to talk to you.  Sometimes him not calling is a clear sign that he is not interested.  Again, you need to look at your situation.

If you barely know him, if this is after a first date or if you have been having hard times in your relationship then quite possibly him not calling is a big sign that he wants to end things.  Just like you, men are not always good at saying they want the relationship to end.

He Wants to Wait

Contrary to popular belief, guys actually do not mind you saying no.  They want you, but they also want a connection.  If he is really into you then he will want to build up that emotional bond before getting into the physical part of your relationship.  He will tend to have more respect for you if you wait to have sex.  Plus, guys love the thrill of the chase.  When you make him wait, it just builds up the anticipation and makes him want you even more.

Your Feelings Are Key

Sex is something that complicates relationships.  Once you make that physical connection, you will naturally expect things to keep growing in the relationship.  If you are not ready to start thinking seriously about the relationship, then hold off on sex.

You really have to trust yourself.  Never feel like you have to have sex.  You should never have to have sex to keep a man.  You should wait until you feel like the time is right.  You will know in your own mind and heart if you are ready.  It may be a bit awkward because all first time sexual encounters are, but it won’t feel wrong.  That is important.  You are the best judge of whether you should have sex or not.

Hesitant

If a guy suggest that you should hang out then it is a good sign that he likes you, but is a little hesitant to just pin it down to a specific time and date.  He doesn’t want to face rejection, which is a common guy fear.  He wants you to respond with something more specific.  If you just say “sure, that would be great”, then he will probably think you don’t really want to hang out with him.

Subtle

If he compliments something about you, like your shoes, then he is actually complimenting you as a whole.  Usually a guy doesn’t really mean he is just head over heels about your new shoes.  He means he is liking you.  You know guys, though, their ego won’t let them just come out and say it.  He may be saying that he likes you or maybe that he likes your legs, but he is being subtle about it.  Think about it.  How would you act if he just came out and said nice legs.  He doesn’t want to deal with that reaction, so he takes the safe route.

Avoiding

If a guy tells you that he is listening after you accuse him of not listening then he is being honest, but he is really telling you that he is not up for some long emotional discussion.  By being a bit distant he is hoping you will just stop talking and drop whatever it is you are talking about. Guys say many things to simply avoid emotional confrontation. Along this same line is the common break up line of “You’re too good for me.”

As you can see, many times what a guy says has some truth to it.  However, guys just are not good with outright emotional things and so they take a roundabout way to get their point across.  The next time you are trying to decode guy speak keep that in mind.