Going through a divorce is not easy on anyone.  If you are getting a divorce, but you start to think that you may be able to salvage the relationship and you want to talk to him then you need to find a good method you can use that will keep from making him mad or making him even more sure that divorce is what he wants.  You need to talk about your divorce without the end result being that you lose him.

Figure out what you want beforehand.

Before you ever talk to him make sure that you know what you are thinking and feeling.  You really need to pull yourself together and be prepared when you talk to him.  If you are rambling and begging then you will never get him to actually listen to you.  The whole goal is to have a real conversation, so be ready to do just that without the tears and without the begging.

Address the issues.

If you know why the marriage broke up, address those issues.  If you are completely unsure then talk to him about it.  Set things out there and get to the heart of the issues.  Make sure that you own up to anything you did that affected the marriage.  You need to be sure that you are honest about everything even if you hate admitting that you were wrong.

Find solutions.

Once the issues are out there, you can begin to address them and see if you can work through them.  Some things may be easy, but most will probably be difficult.  It will take a lot of work.  You both have to put in the effort and it has to be something you do together.  You both have to be willing to work at the marriage in order to save it.

Accept the reality.

The reality is that you are in a divorce.  Things got so bad that all you could think was to end the marriage completely.  It is important that you realize he may not want to reconcile.  You need to go into this conversation knowing that you may still lose him at the end.

Tips:

• When you talk to your husband, it needs to be a very neutral thing.  You have to meet somewhere that is not intimidating to either of you.  Keep things pressure free.

• Don’t play the blame game.  Keep yourself in check and make sure that you do not start to point fingers and place blame on him.  This will make him unlikely to want to talk to you about anything.

• Watch out for legal issues.  Since divorce is a legal battle, you always have to be careful.  You do not want to do anything that could hurt you in the end.  You may not be able to save your marriage, so you need to be aware of how this talk will affect your future legal battle.